Finding out…

Monday 11th December 2017. A snow day. I had woken up feeling so much happier than I would have on a normal Monday morning. No Monday morning rush, no 8.20am whole staff briefing and no teaching 5 lessons in a row with a lunch duty also thrown in for good measure! Every teachers’ favourite day. Actually I think it’s just as exciting as the phone call we get the day before a snow day telling us what we all want to hear – “the school is closed tomorrow because of the snow so you don’t need to come in!” After a day of speculating, checking the weather, checking social media for other local school closures and speaking to my best friend every half an hour about the possibility of “that” phone call, my prayers had been answered!

Anyway, my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months now and this was the time where I would find out if I was or wasn’t. It was around midday and although I wasn’t due on for another 2 days I decided to take an ovulation test. A friend of mine had told me that as well as detecting the surge in luteinizing hormone (LH) that precedes ovulation, an ovulation test can also detect the presence of human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) which is the hormone released when a lady is pregnant. After some googling, I had found that to be true and decided I would be less disappointed if I had a negative result on an ovulation test than on a pregnancy test – technically it would just confirm that I wasn’t ovulating (which I already knew I couldn’t be) and there still could be a little bit of hope that if I took a test in a few days I would get the positive result I had been longing for.

When a faint second line appeared on the ovulation stick I felt teeny tiny flutters in my tummy. I found myself talking out loud, “hhmmm, is that a second line?”, “I think that’s another line”, “maybe I’ve got my dates wrong and I am ovulating…”, “Oo, maybe I should do one of the pregnancy tests!” I dug the packet of pregnancy tests out of their ‘secret’ hiding place (the pyjama drawer!) and proceeded to carefully wee on the designated area. I placed it on the tissue next to the ovulation sticks. I decided to leave the bathroom and go back in a few minutes – you know, to give it time to do its thing without the pressure of someone hovering over it! When I went back in, if I squinted I could definitely see a faint second line. Time for a second opinion! I sent over pictures and messages explaining the process to my friend (the one who had told me about the ovulation test detecting HCG) and she agreed that, although very faint, there were definitely second lines on both. She suggested I get one of those clear blue digital tests to be 100% certain. This had all gone on while my husband, oblivious to the fact I had taken all these tests, was at the local Co-op stocking up on some snow day essentials.

I was sat on the bottom of the stairs like an excited puppy, listening out for his car to pull up on the drive! When he opened the door I think he had only managed to get one foot in the house before I blurted out what I had done and explained what it all meant. Although highly intelligent, just the mention of ovulation, HCG and LH and I could see the confusion develop on his face! Poor bloke! He didn’t kill the dream or my enthusiasm though and suggested we pick up a clear blue test on the way home from picking up my son later on that evening. So wise and sensible – I don’t really know why I hadn’t just waited and done one of those in the first place!

A few hours had past and we had braved the little snow that was left to pick up Omari from his dad’s house. We stopped off at Asda because we knew that a big supermarket would be more likely to have them in rather than risk it and go back to our local Co-op to be disappointed. He took Omari to look at the toys and I braved the pharmacy aisle. Heading home with my purchase I couldn’t help but start to imagine how different life would be with a baby in our already happy home. This was familiar. This was something I had done every month since we decided to start trying and although it had only been a few months, each time I knew it wasn’t going to happen I couldn’t help but feel quite overwhelmed with sadness.

Arriving home, I left Omari happily watching one of his programmes while I headed up stairs for the moment of truth. I decided to go up alone and left my husband downstairs snuggled with the boy. The test was done and now I was just waiting… the little sand timer kept flashing up on the digital screen. My phone rang – a welcomed distraction – it was my sister-in-law and I answered because I knew she was the perfect person to talk to, to take my mind off the waiting. She was filling me in on the events of her day and I found myself only half listening because I had returned to watching the sand timer flash. It was seeming to take so much longer than the promised 2 minutes it says on the box! She was telling me about her session at the gym when I had my result: ‘Pregnant’ it said. I had a burning desire to interrupt her with my exciting news but the fact that I needed to tell my husband first stopped me.

Rushing downstairs (still on the phone!) I motioned for him to join me in the kitchen. Of course it wasn’t the most romantic way to tell him that he was going to be a daddy for the first time but I couldn’t wait any longer so I signalled for him to have a look at the test that I had laid carefully on the kitchen side. He looked at me and smiled – the same excited smile that I had when I learnt that this month was the month. Finally hanging up the phone on my chatter box sister-in-law I could give him the biggest squeeze ever. We didn’t even say anything to each other – the mutual feeling of overwhelming happiness said it all…

Monday 11th December 2017. A snow day. Teachers always remember a snow day because it is such a rarity. This one will always be a much more special memory.

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Cheesy grins for our December date night selfie because we knew that I was now growing a little bubba inside me!

I hope you enjoyed the read! Please feel free to comment below and tell me about how you found out you were expecting!

Big loves,

Jess xXx

4 thoughts on “Finding out…”

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